Have you ever sent Facebook messages to people and received no response from them at all?
Sad to admit, I do. Of course, to people I have met, not just some random strangers on Facebook.
When such things happen, I would wonder if it is me... Is it because I'm boring? Is it because they don't want to keep in touch or interact with me?
In the beginning, I would console myself by saying that the person is busy, he/she might not check his/her Facebook messages often etc... But eventually, I would admit defeat and get myself out of my self-denial.
I was searching on Google "Why People Don't Reply Facebook Messages", and to my surprise, I found some really interesting points.
1) Personal
Sometimes it just lies with the person: not wanting/lazy to reply, procrastinating their replies and eventually forgetting about it, feeling that there's nothing to reply, etc...
To read about other possible reasons on why people don't reply message on Facebook, check out these links:
http://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thread_id=566811
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/do-you-dislike-people-if-they-dont-reply-to-your-116343/
2) Technical
What I read from this article really amazes me. The article mentioned that such feature is implemented around November 2010; however, I just realised it today (13th May 2012)! It works like the spam/junk folder in Email but it just that many people are unaware that there's such a folder on Facebook. To check your messages in this folder, simply click on the "Messages" on the left-hand side of your homepage, and click on "other" from the drop list. To my surprise, I actually have 26 messages, which I was totally unaware of before, in that folder! But well, to speak the truth, these messages aren't really worth my time. But the article did mention that "messages only appear in the main inbox if they're from friends or friends-of-friends". So I assume that the "other" folder is simply for messages not from the two above mentioned groups. So, if I sent a message to a "friends-of-friends" and he/she didn't reply, I should face the fact bravely.
But then again, how can I blame others for not replying, when sometimes I commit such faults as well? I do love to see that I have new messages in my Facebook inbox. It's always like a surprise when I click on the notification and check out who sent me messages. Sometimes it's from a friend who is at the other end of the world, sometimes it's just people trying to keep in touch. However, sometimes the messages might be too long and I would tell myself that I would reply later, and soon, I forgot all about it and the messages are never replied/ replied after a long time. Sometimes it just gets a bit irritating (I'm sorry to say that but it's what I feel) when people I don't really know, say people I met at some activities, school etc... I think it's okay if they send me a few messages trying to get to know me and allow me to know them better. It's perfectly fine if I feel the conversation is insightful and enables me to gain a new friend. Yet, it's super irritating if people simply send me "Hello, how are you?", "Hi, how are you doing?", or anything along the line and they are trying to prone into my private life and know my every details of my daily life, etc. I mean, there's a line between friendly and creepy.
So, it takes me some courage to send people messages. If he/she doesn't reply, I will probably not send another because it might just sound irritating. I always believe that I should do to others what I want others to do to me. If I don't want to receive "irritating messages", I should not send any at all. Sometimes, It's just obvious that the person is not going to reply, isn't it? Life moves on, get a life.
To end off, check out some suggested Facebook etiquette over at this site here! :)
Have you ever sent people messages on Facebook and a reply seems really unlikely? What do you think are the reasons? Do you ignore other's messages? What are the reasons?
My situation is similar but complicated by being at the upper end of the age range of people likely to even use Facebook, much less be very proficient at it. I didn't know about the 'other' inbox either, but I did go through my privacy settings and discovered that unless people have opted to receive FB messages from 'everybody' they won't even SEE my messages apparently, even if they know to check the 'other' folder. I don't use FB much except for a few immediate family and friends, but occasionally I see someone from my childhood that would be fun to say 'hello' to, so I message them, rather than presume to friend request them, and get no reply. Then I find out they likely aren't even getting the message. Why in the heck does it invite me go to the trouble of composing and sending a message to someone that has their privacy settings rejecting messages from anyone but friends or F.O.Fs? I understand not letting people specifically blocked from knowing that, but it seems stupid to pretend that 99.99% of the population can send someone a message that will essentially go straight into the trash with no hope of it ever being seen while thinking they're being ignored for some reason.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you; sometimes I don't want to add someone as friend, or rather, not for the time being, till I know him/her better or has some interactions through messages between us. I think the current feature is good at preventing spam but it also reduces our chance to connect with someone whom we might know. I think facebook used to have this feature whereby you can add in a short note alongside your friend request to someone. I used to do this when I add people who used to go to school with me and whom I think would have forgotten about me. Sadly, I think this feature is no longer available.
DeleteI message people before adding them on fb. Before I made a fb, people never answered their emails, and I don't know there phone numbers. I made another fb account hoping to keep in touch with them. Nobody answered, then I got bored. Do you think its ever worth keeping in touch with people from the past? or do you think it's a waste of time?? Please let me know!
ReplyDeleteHi Callie Rose,
DeleteI think it really depends on what the person actually mean to you. Personally, I feel that it's only worth keeping in touch with people from the past if they actually put in the effort to want to re-connect with you. Sometimes things change (such as habits, perspective, lifestyle) and it's really hard to keep up with one another's lives like you used to. There's no harm keeping in touch with anyone from the past, who you want to re-connect to again... But if they don't reply, there's actually nothing you can do. Don't worry too much, just move on with your life - e.g. find new friends or make good friends from your existing ones. Just know that sometimes the only thing from the past you can have is memory. Hope that helps! :)
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