I thought I could be brave, to embark this journey alone. But why is it that my heart is filled with fear and anxiety, tears at the brink of my eyes, as the day to leave draws nearer and nearer? Isn't that what I have been wanting? What I said I wanted? Isn't this all my decision? To choose to go? But why, why this feeling? It's only two months. Everything will turn out fine. I would have gone somewhere else after my program, just to have people I know and travel companions around me. But after meeting you, I wish to go where you're and will be. You gave words, but I hope you keep and remember them; for I take those seemingly innocuous words as truth, as promise, as a glimpse of hope. Of course, spending all my days with you after my program ends would be ideal; but that seems impossible. I have just known you, perhaps should be, you have just met me. I have been around, it just that you have no idea. I don't harbour any erotic or romantic fantasies towards you, just hope that we can be good friends who probably hang out with one another from time to time. I guess I should decide, and then tell you about it, and hope you reply the message.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
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