Source: http://www.staypositive.me/post/28206605217

I could just spend my time staring when you're online; alas, if I've all the time in the world. I wanna talk to you so much; but, I don't know what to say, and I don't wanna bother you. Sometimes, no, "everytime" perhaps, I wish that I'm more outgoing and conversational. Sometimes I wish I can/have the courage to talk endless craps to you like I did to other people. Sometimes I wish you weren't so high up in the pedestal, so we might be a little closer.

You're probably a really nice person, too nice that you couldn't tell me straight in my face you don't need my help. I'd rather you reply with something vague like, "I'll let you know if I need any help" rather than telling me that you will e-mail me something and I can check the next day when you actually didn't do it at all. Perhaps you planned to do it, just that you forgot. Perhaps you've a bad memory. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. How I wish I know what I can talk to you about and keep the conversation going. I thought of taking the language course but I can't. :( I don't know, but I really don't want you to forget me. I also don't wanna lost touch with you. You're an awesome person and an awesome friend. Even if we can't be together in a romantic relationship, I wish we can really become best friends in a platonic friendship.

Sometimes I think you can be sacrificed over other things, but truthfully, I don't want you out of my life. I miss you so much. I wish I could tell you that.

This may sound strange to you but I'm staying online mainly because you're; it gives me that glimpse of hope that you might just talk to me. How naive and wishful thinking but I hope you'll.

I don't know why such weird thoughts flashed past my head just now. I hope you're fine.

 I'd the best of my days this summer, but not here. History just kept repeating itself and I have to put up with crap over and over again. This friendship is tiring and upsetting; when I tried so much to be happier and try to think positively, things will go the wrong way again. Perhaps I'm a selfish person, I always think about how I feel. But have you ever stood in my position? I'm a human and what I need from my friend is respect. I really enjoy hanging out with all the new people that I have met, and it shows me that human can actually be selfless. Es ist egal, I just have to put up with these for a few more days. Perhaps we might never meet again.

Now I know I'm lying when I don't care. Obviously I do, if not I wouldn't be feeling this way.

I don't understand why you're not replying me. If you can't make it or don't want to, say so. You shouldn't get my hope high in the first place, or expect me to expect you to reply and then nothing takes place. Just say it!