Na ja...

Got my first rejection letter from P&G. Oh well. Somehow I think I might not get into Wunderman too, recalling how my initial resume sucks so much and all my achievements are like those light hitting dust particles in comparison to those sparkling stars high up in the sky.... Still, deep down, I still hope I will get it. It's easy to have faith, when all is good... The challenge is to keep on believing, in times like this. But what if I believe, but it turned out otherwise? Ja, I know there's no use worrying about tomorrow, but just like emotions of the heart, can one stop it? One can probably distract oneself from it, but in the quiet recesses of the night, these suppressed images and thoughts, together with those regrets, scream louder than one's brain can contain.

Singapore is filled with haze, just like in the movies like The Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day... Just like how the Earth is, before it is destroyed... The haze blurred the surrounding, the blue sky and greenery fade out of sight.

I experience the haze within and without.

The air will clear someday, but... will the haze within be?

"Jealousy... is...

the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on". Seeing people having MBA, dream jobs, exploring the world just make me so green with envy. It's easy to say to explore the world, live and travel while you're young if you can. For example, having money, studying engineering and doing an internship because they are in high demand, or simply having a german other half. But I have neither. Even if I want to execute something, can I? These lofty dreams and desires are laying dormant in my head, struggling to become reality... I don't know if they are going to be dormant forever... or for how long.

When I read about other people's achievements,

especially those who managed to get into Harvard MBA, it makes me feel that all my achievements and skills are merely speck of dandruff on a shoulder. Aren't trying to belittle myself but sometimes, I just have to wake up and face the truth. In comparison to those people who have sold their businesses for over millions of dollars, established organisations and invented new technologies as undergraduates, I begin to feel like that little star that is slowly losing it twinkle and dying out...

Edit: I'm not sure if it's coincidence or fate... I'd tumblr opened in another window and after typing this blog entry, I went to tumblr and saw this post: http://spiritualinspiration.tumblr.com/post/45490510784/let-us-run-with-endurance-the-race-that-is-set

Still writing those cover letters...

Somehow I wish Wunderman or Commerzbank could get back to me, soon, if they even want to. So that these cover letters writing could stop, maybe for a while... It's worse than writing those academic essays...

Have been deleting some friends off Facebook...

Friends that were my classmates. Too much pessimism and every time I checked Facebook, it was usually their pessimistic soliloquy status. Sometimes you don't see yourself losing much deleting a friend because you guys didn't keep in touch. It seems as if the friends are there to make up the number.

A little tired of writing cover letters

because I don't really know what people are looking for in cover letters. I could search for "how to write a good cover letter" and such online and they could tell me the criteria... but I wonder if employers care about the format? I always believe when you put your heart and mind into writing something, that will do the job. But sometimes, it seems there's a certain format, certain "correct" way of writing" that employers may be looking for that can lend you a job.

Sometimes I don't think I set my priorities right. I should focus my energies on applications for the jobs I want and companies I want to work at, rather than aimlessly sending out applications to any job openings.

I wish I get the job in Munich. And now, it is okay for me if I get the job in Sweden. But first, gonna finish up my application. Get on with writing my cover letter. sigh.

Today I was watching an episode of Running Man...

... In this episode, the challenge for the two teams was to get autographs from allocated Korean writers. 

Ha-ha read a phrase from one of the writers' book, it goes something like: when you look at a mountain from the East, it is a mountain at the West. When you look at a mountain from the West, it is a mountain at the East. But when you look at a mountain from afar, it is just another mountain.

Pretty meaningful quote. A pity that I forgot who the writer is. Tried google-ing it on google but to no avail. Guess because it's translated and I have a better chance of finding it if I know what it is and can type it in Korean. 

And I'm impressed that Jae-Suk managed to answer what is Gulliver's occupation in Gulliver's Travels. To think I actually did one of my academic essays on Gulliver's Travels and I didn't know what his occupation was!