I wanna re-live this Summer, if I could

If I could, I would really want to re-live my summer again... Not sure how... Perhaps in a different way. Not that how I spent my summer is bad, but if I could, I would choose to spend more time with my new friends or be more outgoing and become good friends with them at an earlier stage.

Strange. When we were there, we lived as if we did't know that someday, somehow, we were gonna say goodbye and might never meet again. I've experienced such things rather often, from primary school, secondary school, JC, and to University. While people still meet up once in a while, I've to admit it's hard to keep in touch regularly and often as when we were at the same place. What's more, we have different time zones and different kinds of life.

I miss my friends so much. I wished I party-ed more. I miss that overdose of freedom when I can go out at anytime, reach home at anytime, grab a beer whenever I want, etc. I miss meeting up with friends at Schlossgarten, and then bought a beer and just sat on the huge grass patch and drink (even with random new strangers we encountered). 

I miss the time when random strangers just said "hi" to me and tried to make a conversation or small talk. I laughed at myself when I thought some were bad people and I just had to be stern and cold in responding to them. I miss people talking to me on the train, in the lift, and even on the streets. 

I just miss that place so much. It's about a month since I returned, but it seems so far away now.

I'm back in Singapore, but I have to admit, my heart lies somewhere in Germany. I forgot to take it back, maybe I should go there and look for it. 

Source: http://www.staypositive.me/post/28206605217

I could just spend my time staring when you're online; alas, if I've all the time in the world. I wanna talk to you so much; but, I don't know what to say, and I don't wanna bother you. Sometimes, no, "everytime" perhaps, I wish that I'm more outgoing and conversational. Sometimes I wish I can/have the courage to talk endless craps to you like I did to other people. Sometimes I wish you weren't so high up in the pedestal, so we might be a little closer.

You're probably a really nice person, too nice that you couldn't tell me straight in my face you don't need my help. I'd rather you reply with something vague like, "I'll let you know if I need any help" rather than telling me that you will e-mail me something and I can check the next day when you actually didn't do it at all. Perhaps you planned to do it, just that you forgot. Perhaps you've a bad memory. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. How I wish I know what I can talk to you about and keep the conversation going. I thought of taking the language course but I can't. :( I don't know, but I really don't want you to forget me. I also don't wanna lost touch with you. You're an awesome person and an awesome friend. Even if we can't be together in a romantic relationship, I wish we can really become best friends in a platonic friendship.

Sometimes I think you can be sacrificed over other things, but truthfully, I don't want you out of my life. I miss you so much. I wish I could tell you that.

This may sound strange to you but I'm staying online mainly because you're; it gives me that glimpse of hope that you might just talk to me. How naive and wishful thinking but I hope you'll.