I hate this place and it doesn't help when my mum kept

asking if I have found a job. Of course I want to find a job, get out of here and go somewhere else, out of this house, and start a new life! It doesn't help with her asking me the same thing everyday when I am well-aware of the fact myself already.

Endlich, I have finished and submitted the job application

and now I can only keep my fingers crossed. Wonder what will come out of it. Hmmm...

Well it's May and soon it's going to be June...

... So people are travelling since it's the summer vacation for students, grad trips, or even a chance for getaways for working people.

Recently, I saw a lot of people going to Europe, especially Germany, when I scrolled through Facebook. Why the sudden flux?! It makes me so envious... wish I could be there, doing something productive, not just travelling around to sight-see.

Hope everything turns out well for the application.

Wish I could watch the Champion League finals.

And, I'm not sure where did my narcissism arise from... but when I realised so many friends are visiting Germany this summer, which was not the case all along since I didn't really know a lot of friends going there, I wondered to myself if I'm the influence? Is it because of the photos I took of the beautiful places in Germany, and my status updates about the wonderful people there, that make people want to go there. Ok, that's all.

I feel I'm really a perfectionist because I like the chance to restart

and do things all over again so I could, or so I thought, make things more perfect or better. It has been with me since young. I used to rewrite my homework over and over again just so I could have the beautiful handwriting of mine printed on the paper when I was in high school. I used to read text over and over again, when I read them half-way and realised that the way I was reading them weren't perfect, I would start reading right from the start. During university where I'd to write tons of essays, I will delete everything off the document and rewrite all over again, that includes my FYP. I think that's why I'm slow.

At times, I have also the urge to delete away this blog, start a new one with a new URL and blog about more beautiful things, just to, maybe... make it more perfect.

But for now, I thought I should keep it. I like the URL, it has been with me for a while.... keeping it, for old time's sake.... for now.... maybe.

Does anyone feel that the commentators for German Bundesliga on Football Channel are

a little biased, especially toward FC Bayern Munich or some of its players, or is it just me? And, they got the players' names wrong sometimes. It made me feel as if they are thrown into commentating for the Bundesliga when in fact, they actually wished that they were commentating on some other matches that they were more interested in. I wished I could tell them, whoever they are, that Lahm is not Schweinsteiger is not Van Buyten is not Müller is not Mandzukic is not Alaba is not Dante........ and the list goes on. Also, I think it's really i-don't-know-what-word-to-use when they made comments saying things like FC Bayern would still do as good even if a particular  player is not with them even though the player was scoring goals for the team. I mean, why say such hurtful things? And some are really biased against Bastian Schweinsteiger. I know there are people out there who don't like him as much as I do too, but sometimes the commentators' remarks were just negative and condescending. An instance was when Bastian Schweinsteiger was probably trying to explain to/plead with the referee about his so-called penalty and the commentator went like, "Why is Schweinsteiger even talking to the referee. He's not the captain, Lahm is". I know the captain usually speak on behalf of the team to the referee, but if Schweinsteiger was the person directly involved in the so-called penalty, wouldn't he be in the best position to talk about it?

Well, if they (the commentators) ever read this, they probably would ask if I could do a better job than them. Frankly, I wouldn't foresee myself being a good commentator, so I wouldn't even take up the job in the first place. But if it's your job, it's just natural for you to understand what you are doing and do it well. Getting names wrong, not knowing who the player is and has to wait till he turned his back so you could see his name on his shirt are definitely things that I think a sport commentator shouldn't do. I know there are a lot of players and it might be difficult to remember all the names, but seriously, every time? Fans would probably already know who the player is, what's the point of mentioning the name after 10 seconds later, and leaving the interval in silence with the commentator probably hoping the player would turn his back to the screen so he could see his last name on his jersey.

Meanwhile in FC Bayern Munich, Holger Badstuber suffered another rupture of his cruciate ligaments in his right knee again and has to be kept out of matches for another six months. That's really saddening.

And it seems like an end of the football season marks also the end for many. Jupp Heynckes' last season with FC Bayern Munich as their coach. Mario Götze's last season with BVB Dortmund as he is going to FC Bayern Munich for the next season. I probably need some time to get used to see him in his new red jersey. Just a little too used to seeing him in yellow. A little too many Marios in FC Bayern? I hope the current Marios will still remain in FC Bayern even though a new Mario is coming. I'm not sure how the team dynamic for the upcoming season will be. New player, new coach...... I hope it will be for the best. For them to claim the position of deutscher Meister again.

And away from FC Bayern Munich, Mike Hanke from Borussia Mönchengladbach will not have his contract renewed with the team, so basically, he will not be playing with the team anymore. :( It's kind of sad because I read that he was really happy to be in the team. Also, other prominent leavings in the football world would be Sir Alex Ferguson and David Beckham. I guess David Beckham is just literally an icon for football. Probably nobody, even without any knowledge of football, would not know or have not heard of him. 20 years of career sounds pretty short, but it's still awe-inspiring.

And once again, GET WELL SOON, HOLGER BADSTUBER!!!! I just wish I could give him a hug because he has been such an inspiration to me. Unlike me who has not achieved much, he, being the same age as me, is a renowned figure with so many people supporting and being there for him. He might probably feel that he is wasting his time away because he has to keep out of the field for another 6 months, plus athletes careers are pretty short, but I hope he wouldn't be discouraged, continue to fight on and come back a better player.

Meanwhile, I shall continue to work toward my dream... though I might not be as successful as Holger... but still... life moves on...

I'm finally near to completion of putting my work samples into

a single word document. Just realised I needed to scan an article. :( Hopefully I could take a high-quality and clear version of it with a camera.

I wonder what will I receive in return in putting so much effort into this application. While I think that some of my designs are pretty great, I believe there are many people, such as students from the fine arts, who could probably do a better job than me.

Oh well. Off to get some sleep before trying to complete the document tomorrow.

Finally, I am near to completing my application

for Zacademy and sending it out after so long. Just have to do a collection of my work samples. Hopefully I can finish by this week, which is tomorrow. Hopefully they want me though; just wanna work in a different country such as the US or Europe.

So, I have slowly come to accept that I'll probably never, ever see or befriend Sebastian again. Was reminded of him again when at the end of a show that I was watching on TV, a brand named called "Sebastian" appeared at the bottom of the screen. Among all the other brands that appeared alongside it, it was the only one that I really noticed although it was at a corner and not the center. 

Well, when one door closes, another opens, they said. Recently, I started to doodle little comics of my encounters with Sebastian on the few pieces of receipts that were piling up quicker than cash in my wallet. I'm having some trouble translating what's in my head into ink on paper. He looks different in every drawings. Perhaps I don't have the flair for drawing, despite my passion for it. At one point I ran out of patience when I was drawing the scenes of our first time talking. Partly because I'm just repeating the same drawing and just changing the dialogues. Yes, I remembered every exchanges we made, every word, because we didn't really talked much. 

On another hand, a company wanted to have a phone interview with me. I don't know if I want the job; I applied it partly because it has a company in Stuttgart and I just want to work in Germany; Netherlands is fine too right now. Let's see how the interview goes.

My bff from my summer university will be visiting another friend from the summer university in a few weeks since they are both in US. Wish I could join them too. Hope that I could see them again.

My face has been switching between being extremely oily and extremely dry recently. A few acnes have recently join the others to reside on my face. My hair has become brittle and hard to manage. Same as my acnes, it is either extremely oily at the end of the day and extremely dry after I washed it. To wash or not to wash, that is a problem. I think I'm just rotting day after day...

Okay, back to collating my work samples and hopefully something nice comes out of it.